Why Independence Isn’t About Traveling Alone—It’s About Choosing to Go
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There comes a season in many women’s lives when something quietly shifts.
For years, we become experts at coordinating our lives around everyone else.
We plan vacations around school calendars. We wait until a spouse can take time off. We postpone trips until a friend is available. We become so accustomed to accommodating everyone else’s schedules that we rarely stop to ask ourselves a simple question:
What do I want?
Then one day, life changes.
The children are grown. Retirement arrives. Or perhaps we simply realize that time is more precious than we once imagined.
And another question begins to surface.
If I don’t choose this journey now, when will I?
I believe that’s why we’re seeing so many more women embracing travel later in life. Solo travel is growing. Small-group travel is thriving. Women are exploring places they once only dreamed about.
But I don’t think the real story is about travel.
I think it’s about agency.
It’s about rediscovering the freedom to choose.
And along the way, I’ve learned something that changed the way I think about travel.
“Traveling independently doesn’t always mean traveling alone. It means trusting yourself enough to choose the journey.”
To me, independence isn’t defined by whether there’s someone sitting in the seat next to you on the airplane.
It’s defined by whether you’re making the decision to go.
That may be the greatest journey of all.
Independence Begins with a Decision
People often assume that because I travel frequently, I must be fearless.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
When I planned my trip to Phuket, Thailand, I fully intended to go alone. It had been on my list for years, and I finally reached the point where I asked myself, If I don’t do it now, when will I?
A friend eventually decided to join me, so I simply expanded the accommodations. But the important decision had already been made.
I had chosen the journey.
That choice mattered far more than whether I boarded the plane alone.
Over the years, I’ve realized that independence isn’t measured by traveling solo.
It’s measured by trusting yourself enough to make your own choices.
Even when I travel with friends, we don’t always share the same interests. There are neighborhoods I want to wander, museums they may want to visit, or gardens where I could happily spend an afternoon while someone else is ready to move on.
I’ve learned to simply say,
“Let’s meet later.”
During my recent trip to Milan, I spent hours exploring the city on my own. I wandered quiet streets, discovered neighborhoods, and found little moments that weren’t part of anyone else’s itinerary.
Was I a little concerned about getting lost?
Of course.
But I wasn’t concerned enough to let it stop me.
I’ve discovered that’s often what courage looks like.
Not the absence of fear.
Simply deciding that fear doesn’t get the final vote.
Sometimes the Best First Step Isn’t Traveling Alone
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is that becoming an independent traveler means you have to travel alone.
I don’t believe that’s true.
Some of the richest travel experiences of my life have happened while traveling with small groups of people I’d never met before.
One of the first was a journey to Ghana.
Walking into a group where you know no one can feel intimidating.
But something interesting happens.
Because you don’t know anyone, you’re naturally more open.
You notice the woman standing beside you at the airport.
“Are you headed to Ghana too?”
“What inspired you to take this trip?”
Conversations begin.
Curiosity replaces awkwardness.
Before long, you’re sharing meals, stories, and unforgettable experiences with people who only hours earlier were complete strangers.
They may never become your closest friends.
But they no longer feel like strangers.
Travel has a beautiful way of reminding us that connection often begins with a simple hello.
Sometimes Strangers Become Friends
Last year, while traveling in Kenya, I met another woman who was traveling on her own.
Ironically, she lived in Los Angeles, just as I do.
We spent much of the trip pursuing different interests, but toward the end we connected in a meaningful way.
When we returned home, our conversation didn’t end.
We’ve since attended cultural events together, visited art exhibits, and built a friendship that never would have existed had either of us stayed home waiting for the perfect travel companion.
It reminds me that every meaningful friendship begins as a conversation with someone we don’t yet know.
Sometimes the stranger becomes the friend.
“Maybe Someday…”
One phrase I’ve heard countless times over the years is this:
“Maybe someday.”
Sometimes younger women smile and tell me,
“I want to be like you when I grow up.”
Others quietly admit,
“I wish I could do what you do.”
While I appreciate the compliment, I always want to gently remind them that there is nothing extraordinary about what I’m doing.
I simply make a plan and act on it.
Sometimes that plan is a trip halfway around the world.
Sometimes it’s a weekend getaway.
Sometimes it’s visiting a neighborhood I’ve never explored before.
The destination isn’t really the point.
The decision is.
I’ve learned that confidence rarely arrives before we begin.
Confidence grows because we begin.
Travel Has Given Me More Than Places
When people ask what travel has given me, my answer has very little to do with travel itself.
Travel has given me perspective.
It has introduced me to people whose lives remind me how much we all have in common.
It has given me gratitude—for opportunities, for experiences, and for the privilege of continuing to learn.
It has brought me peace.
And perhaps most unexpectedly, it has given me anticipation.
There is something joyful about knowing another adventure is waiting.
Planning a trip becomes part of the experience.
Looking forward to what’s next keeps me curious.
Keeps me inspired.
Keeps me engaged with life.
That’s a gift that reaches far beyond travel.
The Courage to Say Yes
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to believe that travel isn’t really about collecting passport stamps.
It’s about remembering that our lives are still unfolding.
We still have new places to discover.
New people to meet.
New friendships waiting to happen.
New lessons to learn.
Travel simply becomes one beautiful way of saying yes to life.
Whether you board a plane completely alone, join a small group of strangers, or invite a friend to meet you along the way, your independence isn’t defined by who’s traveling beside you.
It’s defined by the fact that you chose the journey.
You chose the destination.
You chose the timing.
You chose yourself.
So if you’ve been waiting for someday…
Perhaps this is your invitation.
Not necessarily to travel halfway around the world.
But to stop waiting for someone else’s schedule to determine when your next chapter begins.
You don’t have to be fearless.
You don’t have to travel alone.
You simply have to give yourself permission to choose.
Because traveling independently doesn’t always mean traveling alone.
It means trusting yourself enough to stop waiting.
Sometimes the bravest journey isn’t the one you take by yourself.
It’s the one you finally decide you’re worthy of taking.
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever postponed a trip because you were waiting for someone to go with you? Or have you discovered your own courage to say yes to the journey?
Share your story in the comments. You never know who your experience might encourage.
Continue Reading
If you’re thinking about taking your own journey, these articles may encourage you:
• Solo Travel for Women Over 60: Why It’s Never Too Late to Start
• Going Solo? Keep Travel Plans Simple
• Why I Don’t Assume There Will Always Be a Next Time
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